In the Last 9 Months, Four Friends Died, I Fell Desperately ill, and We Almost Went Bankrupt. When Your Dreams are Shattered, What Do You Do?
“Mikayla died Loz. She was only 26.” I typed in messenger.
“What the fuck? What do you mean? Are you serious?!” she typed back.
We both sat in silence for a moment. Then Lauren’s chat bubbles jumped up on the screen.
“I don’t know what to say.” she said.
“I think I’m in shock.”
Another bright shining light in the world - suddenly gone.
We both sat at our computers, on opposite sides of the world, tears streaming down our faces.
Stunned that 2017 had delivered yet another cunt card. Not only to us, but to people we knew. People we love.
It seems the universe had a stack of cunt cards lined up. And it wasn’t done dishing them out yet.
A week before Mikayla passed away, Lauren had said goodbye to her cat Missy. After 9 years together, Missy was diagnosed with cancer and within 24 hours she was gone.
Just a few months before that, I’d been diagnosed with a rare neurological condition - aptly named “The Suicide Disease” - which left me in pain worse than childbirth, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I felt like I was being burnt alive.
I’d wanted to die then too - and after a couple of very suicidal months - I finally started to fight back. I’ve spent most of this year piecing my body and mind back together. Working my butt off to heal from a condition most medical doctors consider ‘incurable’.
And two weeks before my condition hit peak hell, Lauren’s closest friend Moni died after being diagnosed with a terminal brain disease. Moni passed away just weeks after she’d married the love of her life.
A month before Moni left this world, our friend Suzy had committed suicide.
And in the midst of this chaos, with me completely incapacitated and Loz barely keeping her head above water, Be. Bangles almost went bankrupt.
Even reading that back makes me go - huh?
“How much can happen in nine months?” I said to Lauren. “This isn’t fair.”
I was pissed. It wasn’t meant to look like this. What in the actual fuck was the universe doing? Out of all the people in the world to take - why them?
Three people with those kinds of bright, infectious energies you don’t come across very often. The type who made you feel like anything is possible.
Out of all the years to hit us with one cunt card after another - why this one? Didn’t the universe know we had PLANS?
This was going to be ‘OUR YEAR’. A year where our dreams finally came true.
We’d both left jobs after completely burning out. 2017 was going to be our fresh start.
We’d set up Be. Bangles so that we could live and work remotely. This was going to be the year we put ourselves first (for a change). A year of joy, rainbows and magical unicorns. Shiny fucking unicorns if you will.
I was going to move to America and start my dream life. Hiking, cycling, and work life balance with the love of my life all taking place in the gorgeous city of Portland, Oregon.
Loz had purchased a van with her boyfriend and had a year long trek around Australia all set up and raring to go.
And now, standing here in August, there is one thing I know for sure.
Life rarely happens on your terms.
It can change in an instant - and at times, the best we can do is hang on for the ride.
And I know Lauren and I aren’t the only ones.
A few weeks ago we asked for stories from the women in our Be. community. We wanted to hear from women overcoming adversity, and what we received both astounded and inspired us.
Stories of...Domestic Violence.
Death of a child.
Multiple Organ Failure.
Blood Clot in Lungs.
Severe Anxiety, Depression and PTSD
And on and on it goes.
I’m not sharing this to depress you, but rather to get you present to the reality that sometimes this is what life looks like.
Sometimes you think the next 12 months will be the best of your life, and instead you’re hit with one shit storm after another.
I don’t know why it happens, all I know is that it does. And if there is one thing I know for sure it’s that we women, we are extraordinary.
Anyone reading this who has even a tiny ounce of the “I can relate to this” feeling - this if for you.
Three simple words.
You’ve got this.
Life falling apart?
You’ve got this.
Diagnosed with a life threatening condition?
You’ve got this.
Dreams not coming true despite giving it everything you’ve got?
Keep going. You’ve got this.
I don’t know why sometimes the heavens open and slam us with horse shit hail stones. And when we’ve finally managed to remove the shit smears from our faces, the roof caves in and we’re drowning in it yet again.
But what I do know is that you’re strong enough to beat this. To move past this. To let go of this. Whatever ‘this’ is.
It’s going to demand something of you. It’s going to take waking up and choosing - every single day - to be bigger than your circumstances. To believe in a vision or some version of the future that hasn’t been made real yet. But you can do it.
You’ve got this.
You can grieve and cry and get angry and break things. You can scream and yell and fight and question everything.
You can do all that, and still wake up the next day and believe with every ounce of your being that you can do this. Whatever that obstacle is in front of you - it CAN be overcome. Why? Because we've done it. And we continue to do it everyday.
You’ve Got This, sista.
And that’s why we took those three little words and put it on a bangle.
And while we pre-sell these bangles, we’re offering a 20% discount if you buy two or more. Use the discount code youvegotthis on checkout.
Because we want you to give one of these bangles to a friend.
Someone you know who needs it. Someone who needs to be reminded of their strength. Someone who is having a tougher time than usual. Someone who needs to hear the words.
You’ve Got This.
These bangles are dedicate to Suzi Q, Moni, Missy and Mikayla - we love and miss you.