I've always been scared to own what I really want. There is that little niggling voice inside my head that says - "oh you want that? I'm sorry, don't you realise that if you want something you can't have it?"
New Years Resolutions are a perfect example of that. Back when I was a smoker (ew), I used to quit smoking every time a new year rolled around.
Within a week I’d have a cigarette in my hand again. SEE? I can't have what I want.
Other times I’d promise myself that I’d lose weight - but no matter the resolution, within a week or two I'd be back eating chocolate and lying on the couch (which I still love to do by the way).
Something needed to change.
And it all started with Danielle LaPorte’s amazing book called The Desire Map. If you haven’t read it yet, get onto it.
The first time I read this book, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I could finally give myself permission to be OKAY with the things I wanted. To fully OWN what I desired. I wrote a Declaration of Desire not long after.
After all, what's the best way to get what you want? Tell the world you want it!
The book also helped me realise that rather than wanting a list of THINGS or achievements, what I REALLY wanted to was to FEEL a certain way.
In Danielle’s Words - My Core Desired Feelings.
Think about it - I could have a giant list of things to I want to buy or do this year. Spend a month in Bali. Buy a new laptop. Walk my dog more. Why do I want to buy or do those things? Because of how they make me feel.
A month in Bali makes me feel rested and radiant. Buying a new laptop helps me feel free and abundant (because I have enough $$ to buy one!). Walking my dog makes me feel healthy and peaceful.
The Desire Map is all about figuring out how you want to FEEL, and then making choices and decisions aligned with that. As Danielle says over and over -
“Let’s get straight to what we all want : To feel good, of course.”
We all want to feel a certain way. Getting aligned with HOW you want to feel is a great way to then move those feelings into actions.
So after going through the Desire Map exercises... my core desired feelings for the year are as follows.
Now THAT sounds like fun doesn’t it?
I can now ask myself, "what decisions do I need to make (daily / weekly / monthly) to have me feel most aligned with my core desired feelings?"
Here is some of the stuff I WANT this year.
To embrace my wild self this year, I’m having one of the best watercolour tattoo artists in Australia redo the tattoo I got on my back when I was 16. I’m turning my old tired butterfly in a watercolour swallow - a bird that symbolises freedom and it’s inspired by this indian looking lady here. How is she for radiant? :)
I want to bring more freedom and sovereignty to my life. That's why I’ve started Be. My amazing company whose mission is to help women love themselves exactly as they are. I get to make all the decisions, do exactly what I want with the money, and have so much fun coming up with new campaigns and ways to connect with women.
I’m starting to blog again so I can share stories, things I'm learning and to feel more seen.
Cool huh? But feelings aren’t enough. Yes they’re lovely - yes it’s great to focus on doing things that make you feel good, but you still need the tangible stuff too.
So for 2016 - I want some GOALS. Actions I can take to move me towards my core desired feelings.
I began writing goals under these 5 areas..
1. Livelihood and Lifestyle.
2. Body and Wellness.
3. Creativity and Learning.
4. Relationships and Society.
5. Essence and Spirituality.
And I had goals under every single one.. so by the end of this, I had around 50 goals for this year.
Fifty goals doesn’t help me feel free.
Or radiant. Or joyful.
Fifty goals is a burden.
If you want to do something and do it well - simplify. Focus.
I gave myself permission to pick 4 goals for the year. Four feels like freedom. It feels like lightness. It feels achieveable, and it feels like I can win at life :) I want to feel like I'm winning at life.
So here are my four goals for this year.
- Grow Be. to earn $150k+ this year. (sovereignty, abundance, freedom, seen)
- Get accountability around my health and wellness, and commit to exercising at least 3 times per week AND eating well. (radiant, wild, abundant)
- Secret goal 3
- Secret goal 4
Sorry, I can't tell you the other two just yet.. ;) - all in good time.
Now my 2016 has direction.
I know how I want to feel. I'm owning what I want (and I'm telling you that I want it too.)
Now it’s time to get out there and start doing it. OH YEAH! Bring it!
So how about you? What do you want for this year? What are you aiming for?
She who would keep a secret must keep it secret that she has a secret to keep.