Fuck This, Fuck That, Fuck You, Fuck Off

Menopause, Motherhood & a Missing School Bag: A Slow Burn to Total Fuckery


So there I am. Monday morning.
Already sweating — not from exercise or effort — but because my hormones decided 7:23am was the perfect time to light my internal organs on fire. Thank you, menopause. You’re a real b*tch.

I’d woken up emotionally shaky after a weekend of sport runs, cooking, cleaning, sports meltdowns, and sick kids.
A perfect cocktail of Mum Burnout and Menopause Blues. Shaken, not stirred.
Still, I offered Miss D a ride to school — because usually, that’s our thing. Windows down, Broadway showtunes blasting, and my mini musical-theatre diva belting every word like she’s auditioning for Wicked.
It’s chaotic. It’s loud. It’s oddly grounding.

Thirty minutes in — and somewhere between “I’m Not Throwing Away My Shot” and “Unlimited — we arrive.
Miss D looks up at me sweetly and says:
“Mum... did you bring my bag?”
No bag. No lunch. No laptop. No books.
Just me, slowly disassociating.
Cue tears. Big ones. Gasping, full-body hysterics.
From me.
Miss D sits quietly.
“I’m sorry, Mum.”
Now I feel bad for her. So naturally, I cry more. “It’s not about the bag,” I manage to croak between sobs.
Later, I hear her tell her brother:
“It’s that Pause thing.”

And she’s right. That wasn’t a breakdown. That was a bangle.
“Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck you. Fuck off.”
It’s not just a bangle. It’s a vibe. A stage of life. A hormonal mood ring forged in the fire of forgotten school bags and floordrobes.
It’s the jewellery version of that silent internal scream — the one that echoes when no one unpacks the dishwasher, the dog’s not fed, and everyone casually steps over the overflowing laundry like it’s f*cking abstract art.
Because sometimes, it’s not one big thing. It’s all the tiny, stupid, invisible things — and they pile up until you crack like a dropped wine glass.
So, when motherhood collides with menopause?
When your patience evaporates faster than your estrogen?
You put that bangle on and wear it like a badge of bloody honor.

Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck you. Fuck off.

Beautifully engraved. Lightly sweary. Deeply earned.

Nikki
xx